New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
