i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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