either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
