What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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