Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
His nipple licking is glorious
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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