I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
NoShamevember. You game?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
