she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
