I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
