The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I need moral support for this bender
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
