You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
