Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
