we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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