Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
