Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
