She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
