all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
