I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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