i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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