I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
