And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
