it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
