My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
