My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
