Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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