fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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