I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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