Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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