i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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