Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
