Well douche your snatch and let's go!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize