This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
