dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
