There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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