see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
