Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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