The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
