we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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