sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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