a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
