she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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