she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
