Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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