i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
