The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize