It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
