im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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