I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize