tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
