oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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