I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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