Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
