The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
pray to the hookup gods
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
