when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
