dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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