i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
