Already got asked if we're dating
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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