And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
