Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
