Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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