I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize