I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
