I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
