Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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