she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
