So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
