dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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