O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
