we're blogging at a bar
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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