I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
