Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
