And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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