You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
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i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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